4 words: hood of his car
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
What a dumb baby whore.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Randomize
