Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Are we still banned from the library?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
