Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
