sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
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The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
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He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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