I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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