Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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