SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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