she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
