sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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