I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
