After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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