I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
