saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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