i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
