oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
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he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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