so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
