Soap is not a condiment
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize