ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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