I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
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You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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