Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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