You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
