Whoa Z and x make the same sound
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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