please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
