The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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