you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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