Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
