Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
