Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
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The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
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Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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