Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize