If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
