Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
porn star boner night. come get it.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
