just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My bed smells like the plague
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
