Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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