I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
