she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life