Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part