Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.