were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
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What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
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I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos