I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
