can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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