Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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