You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
