Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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