I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Operation Purity has been aborted
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
