i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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