Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
