the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
