Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize