I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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