Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
