my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
cat food counts as protein by the way
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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