im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
