If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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