Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
