I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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