You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
