man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"