DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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