Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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