just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
