Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
