'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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