Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
