Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
