Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
