Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
