how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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