This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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