At least make sure they are 18
Why
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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